Notes from friends to Esther
I know we had a terrible fall out as friends at the end of last year, but you and I have known each other for 1/3 of our lives. I remember the first day that I met you at King's in 7th grade. You had this long braided hair that you used to whip people with & had the most popping loud personality. At first I thought you were crazy...but as years passed by I learned to love your craziness. Those were times when we used to eat by the bench in front of the office. You, Sally, and Rebecca getting high off cheese while all of us watched you three tear down the silent lunches. In 8th grade we still weren't as close but we definately made a strong bond. It was then at the end of 8th grade...the rebellious teenager side started to take a step forward. I was so worried for you, you my good friend and to hear all the things you were up to made me so sad that I felt as it was my responsibility to help you. Mid freshman year through thick and thin we never let go of your friendship and that's when we realized how strong of friends we were. Thats when I fell for you. End of freshman year I was able to suck up my courage to ask you out, and I was shocked at your reponse. You became my first girlfriend, my first everything, and my first best friend. Of course we struggled, what young teenager relationships wouldn't, but I was so glad we were able to experience that because I was able to get to know who you were. Even though our relationship didn't work out, our love for our friendship grew stronger till the day we decided to take separate paths. I miss you so much already, I remember so much that we've done together. We were always inseperable, we loved hip hop, we LOVED Japan, we took 2 years of Japanese together, we went to Japan, we jammed on guitar hero, we raced around the night blasting music in your car and singing at the top of our lungs, the movies that we watched when we were bored, the cookies and cakes we used to make, that big ass balloon we used to trade off every year on our birthday's and so much more that I can go on about. You were such an amazing bright girl. You had such a beautiful mind. I am so sorry I wasn't able to be there for you during your last moments, I'm so sorry if you left this world with a heavy heart of our broken relationship, and please know as much as I may have said things to you that hurt you, I've realized I've always loved you so much and cared for you so deeply. E.T., Ichigo, my dear friend Esther, I will miss you so much. I hope you have found peace. I will never forget you.
Love,
Chase Tahk
Esther,
I really dont even know where to begin. I met you at kings. Its all pretty fuzzy for me even still i can barely recall much of those dark times but i do remember us hanging out after school everyday. When i left everyone at Kings to go to Mountain View i never forgot about you. When i saw you again at Mountain View a few years later i was so shocked. You were standing between the science quad and the back parking lot and i didnt know what to say. I was worried you wouldn't remember me so i passed by only to whisper to my friends that i knew who you from Kings. Later on you added me on facebook and from that moment on i just felt connected to you in a way i hadnt with anyone else at Mountain View. You knew how it felt to leave someplace familiar and go try to be apart of somewhere as big as Mountain View. You understood me. My words and thoughts are all jumbled. You were and always will be in my mind full of life! You brought excitement to every conversation and adventure no one could ever replace you. I feel awful for not having kept in contact with you the past year after you graduated. I wish i couldve created more memories with you. I hit myself over the head not even knowing you were in rehab until now. Where was i all this time? You always brought a smile to my face whenever i saw you in the halls, i wish i couldve returned the favor one last time. I will never forget you Esther or you at Winterball last year ;) Thanks for all that you've given me. I know i will see you up there someday and i will be sure to give you the smile you deserved...
Love you forever
Jessica Tuers
Esther. Oh, Esther. I broke down the minute I heard the news and I've had puffy eyes since. I treasured our friendship so much- so you have no idea how much it hurts right now. I was reading a survey you did the other day. One of the questions "how do you want to die?" you had answered "old, glamorously, in one big BANG!" and I'm sorry it had to end like this. Young and sudden...I knew you had so much in store for you, only a couple weeks from turning 19. You shaped ME to be the person I am today since that very day we met in the 6th grade. We've never broken that bond since. Oh, how we always stuck in there for each other- you had always been my best homegirl. We must have spent a million hours together and never gotten sick of it. You taught me to be open to new things; to never be afraid of who I am. You were real—still are to me. Thank you for being one of the biggest influences in my life...and I don’t need to go through the memories. They will be there forever.
With love,
Sally Chou
Dear Esther;
For only getting to know you about a year, you’ve become someone truly close to me. When we first met, I was as extremely shy. Nowadays, I’m just as shy, but I know when to give out a lending hand. I think out of everyone in high school, I’m one of the few that owes you so much. You gave me hope that I could break out of my cage. You gave me the willingness to look at things differently, and learned to put a smile on my face even when life was hopeless. You lent me a hand when everyone had over looked me. You went out of your way to give me something that I never thought was mine: a life. When we didn’t see each other, we would talk online late at night about some of the most random and philosophical discussions. In our conversations, I learned that we had a lot in common. Not surprisingly, we were able to understand one another pretty well. When I had problems, I knew I could come to you, and you would always give me the best advice from the heart. I was there to listen to your problems, and was there to know when there was something wrong. All because it mattered to me. I remember the time that I almost crashed your pinto when you let my drive it. Or how we snuck out at night just so we could have a Denny’s run. Or the times you told me to grow some balls and just do it. Not to mention the million times we went out to lunch and end up with too many tardies. The good memories… No matter what happened, I wanted to make sure that you knew you could trust me, just as I trusted you. I regret not spending enough time with you, all the events that I had to miss, though I still think about all the times we did hang out one on one. I always thought that we’d have more memories to spend together… No matter what, you’ve been one of my best friends. I can proudly say that you were someone pivotal in my growth to becoming a better person. Please, take care, and may you rest in all the hearts that you’ve touched.
Muhammad (Mumu) Sauber Deen
Dear Esther,
While i was only able to get to know you for the last two years, i can never forget you or all the things that you have helped me with in that time frame. Chase was right in saying that there will never be anyone quite like you. You made the dullest of moments more lively and memorable for me or anybody who ever took notice of us. We got so many looks for the weird things we did, yet we were still so care-free about it all. I was able to feel more comfortable about who i was knowing that i was with somebody as crazy as you were. It never mattered how weird we must have looked as long as we were happy doing whatever random thing we were wrapped up in. I distinctly remember the time we were eating burritos at Rengstorff Park and that fat squirrel was hawking us. We were so afraid that it was infected with rabies like the ones from Cuesta Park so we kept trying to scare it away but it kept coming back. Then i had scared it off but i looked at you as if it was standing right behind you. You froze up so bad and had the most priceless look on your face, it was almost completely identical to the squirrel's expression. It's not often that you meet somebody that is so enthusiastic about the things they have. I remember how crazy you were about fixing up that Pinto of yours and all the days we spent at Pep Boys dreaming of all the things we could do to it. I loved all those memories that were associated with that car. I only wish we were able to come through with all the plans we had made to transform the classic powder blue Pinto that drew so much attention to us. You truly were someone like no other. No matter what words may have been thrown around, i have always cared about you and will miss you. R.I.P. my dear friend.
Love,
Nelson Yu
Dear Esther,
I miss you already. I remember all the funny and weird things we did and it all brings a smile to my face even now. Like the time we all had a sleepover at your house. You didn’t mind my crazy camera addictiveness at all, and let me walk out of there with over 400 hundred pictures. I still laugh at that one time when we were in French class and Mme Clarck made you practice the “r” sound and you ended up spitting all over the place. You were one of the first people that I met at King’s and I am so glad I got to know you and be friends with you. I’ll never forget our mall trips and the episode with the crazy Korea lady who told some girl who picked up a small sized dress that she was not a small, and she didn’t want her to break the zipper of the dress. We laughed for hours over that and then took more pictures. Thank you for capturing and creating all of these odd, but very funny memories. You are and always will be one of my best friends. I miss you and you will stay in my memories for ever. Thank you for being a great friend who I can always have tons of fun with and take millions of pictures with.
Love ya forever girly!
Anela Isayeva
Dear Esther...
Hey yo... Damn we had some crazy memories.although i only knew you during senior year we had a lot of memories together. Just reminiscing about the past there are several memories that jump to my head. I just remember that one connection that we had. I know you remember that feeling how i could feel what you felt. lol i remember that one time we drove skyline and you were all "okay don't let me go faster than eighty." then we hit that straight away and then you were all "Nevermind".. lol that was something that i couldnt stop laughing from. wow and i remember that one time you were dropping me off at home and then we saw emerald then you were reversing to get her to take her home to then that crazy ass old lady just stopped right behind you and you broke and she was all scared lol... man i dont know there are alot of things i dont know what to say. All i can say now is Rest In Paradise. we will meet once again behind those pearly gates. I love you Sista... and you will be missed by all of us.
Your loving friend,
Francis-Michael S. Capulong "aka" F.C.
Esther, you came into my life in the almost the exact same fashion as you left. You showed up at prom, looking like the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, I was almost envious that James Lee was your date :] This pretty, fun, and wonderfully sweet girl from a different school I've never heard of, and then, unexpectedly; there you were, at mvhs with all of us, slowly weaving your way into our hearts. We cared about you and tried our very best to protect you from anything you needed protecting from. Whenever anything sad, happy, upsetting, or exciting thing happened in our lives, you showed just as much excitement, just as much support and always made cookies special, anyway we asked. Any down moments were brought up by your spirit, and happy moments were made better with your smile. Though I hope you've found peace, I wish I could give you the biggest hug I can give and tell you that I love you so much. I feel like I should have made more effort to be there for you, to push you harder, and try my best to keep you safe, but I wasn't there. I can hardly believe how you could have slipped so easily and beautifully through my fingers. I will never forget you and our short time together, you and your family will forever be in my though and my heart. I miss you, and I hope I'll see you again someday.
With everlasting love,
Miki Maneru
Esther,
you know i used to joke around with you all the time, and we would just laaaugh and tease and goof around. and then i had to leave mountain view high to go and live with mom for a while because i knew i had to turn myself around. you always knew how beautiful i thought you were and i never did pay you back for that lemonade you bought me at froyo. i'll never forget how awkward you were when you first started meeting people, ahh hah it was hilarious. and you asked me to tell you about myself and i laughed my ass off there in the 1st quad, and you pulled on my hand for us to get something to eat from the cafeteria. i miss you so much, and everytime i see your little videos my eyes get all teary. you were so crazy. for a little bit i had kinda this little crush on you lol. the last time we met was at the ice skating rink, and you taught me how to go backwards. we didn't end up going to that hip hop dance class together which is a bummer.i guess the reason why i'm so sad is because even though we used to joke hit on each other all the time, but i never got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me and how much we all love you. stay beautiful baby girll. i'll see you soon
love always,
Johnny Lazzarini
Hey Esther~
I've known you since 6th grade when we were both in Ms. Wanger's homeroom. And though we didn't end 6th grade with fond memories of each other, we were friends again in 7th grade. With that, we became better friends than we were before, and that's all thanks to you. Kings has always been and will always be a fond memory for me and that's because of you, Esther. Every day, I came to school with the high hopes of seeing my wonderful friends who cared about me. You, Esther, have always cared and, in a way, taken care of me because I was shy and quiet. You, Esther, nudged me out of my shell, and showed me that life was to be filled with your own expressions, that you have to live your own life. You have brought me so many fond memories and they are so priceless. I will always remember our seaweed days and it is still my fondest memory of you. I even remember that you once stuffed seaweed down the shirt of a boy who claimed that seaweed was "nasty." Aww. I remember that in our group of friends, you had the most energy, and were the most fun to be with. Eighth grade East Coast Trip! It was so fun, and it would not have been that way without you. Though I left Kings starting 9th grade and though we didn't keep in touch a lot, you were always a good friend of mine. You even came to my school's end-of-the-year dance! Junior Year was Homecoming dance. You, me, and Sally even went shopping together for dresses! And I still have the pictures we took together because you slept over! The summer before senior year, I began to realize that I was running out of time to hang out with all my junior high buddies! So I specifically called you and Ellia to hang out. Even though you showed up late, it was still fun! And when it was time to go home, you were kind enough to delay your own events just to wait for my mom to pick me up. Even when I told you that you didn't have to, you insisted. It was then that I noticed how much I missed seeing you at school every day. I still consider you one of my closest friends. Senior Year. Ahhh. The highlight of my senior year was, in fact, your birthday party. I was so excited and so happy just to be able to see you again! I was so touched that you had told me that you asked for a "clean" party. You also told me that if anyone bothered me, all I had to do was tell you and that you would tell them to back off. I don't think I've ever found another friend who I knew only for a few years and yet cared for me this much. And for your present? When you told me that you loved it, I was so happy. I don't even remember the last time anyone has loved a present that I got for them as much as you did. Earlier last week, I had noticed it was already April. At once, my thoughts turned to "Esther's birthday is coming soon! I have to remember to get her a present!" But before I knew it, I received news that you were gone. Esther, that your life was so short was so unfair. I remember you once told me you wanted to be a doctor, like your dad. And though we laughed about the factthat you didn't like to touch blood, I knew that you wouldbe able to do whatever you set your mind to. Even now, I can't believe you're gone. The most I can do right now is to pray that God will take you into His kingdom where you will always be happy. ESTHER! Though we didn't spend much time together during high school, you have always been and will always be one of my best friends.
As one who loves you,
Iris Yang
Hihi Esther!
Having fun in Paradise (hehe FC)? I know you are having fun for you always have that with you anywhere at anytime. I cannot picture you unhappy, mad, or anything negative for all the images you have showed me of you are all in high spirits; wild and outrageous, sincere and friendly. You were always so generous, even to the people you hardly knew. Your genuinness always affects eveyone around you causing many admirers and bonds. You helped many realize reality and opened new paths. You might not know this but its true; you are a wild beast unaware of the great influences you have passed on to your friends. You dance to your own beat, not letting anyone disturb your path. You soar higher and higher as if there is no limit. You are a wonderous beauty lost in its own path. I miss you very much Esther and I wish to thank you for all the kindness you have brought into my life. I'm am sorry I am unable to more but I am still at lost. I will never forget your intense personality, your fiery aura, your whole being. Our memories will live. Now. Always.
With Love,
Jessica J. Cruz
Dear Esther...
Hey Oneesan, I finally looked up what is the correct spelling for older sister. All along I've been spelling it Oneechan, lol. There is so much memories about you although I've only knew you since senior year. I remember how I wanted an older sister and I told you and I wanted you to be my older sister, but you thought the opposite of how it would've been cool to have an older brother. Although I am older, you let me be the younger one and called me Ototo for younger brother. Later you told me that you weren't sure if Ototo meant younger brother or a toilet brand. That made me laugh, but it was to troublesome to find out the real word in japanese for it, so I sticked with Ototo. Did you know that you were the first person to teach me how to drive? I remember telling you that I didn't know how to drive and you said you were going to teach me. I thought you were joking, but you meant it! I was so scared when you took me to the school parking lot and actually made me drive, but im glad you did or else I would never had the guts to start learning. Thanks a lot for teaching me how to drive and a lot of other great things. My life wouldn't have been the same without you. I miss you Oneesan and I'm sorry for not keeping intouch with you. (P.S. Its suppose to be Otouto.)
Love,
Raymond Ton (aka Ototo)
Esther, I'll never forget one of the most frequent things you used to say to me. "You're so little! You'll understand when you get older." I used to hate whenever people called me little, but it never seemed annoying when you did. You always had a smile on your face and a little mischievous giggle waiting to bubble up. I always saw you as another big sister, along side my real brother and Chase. I always had my older siblings there to look out for me, or just to let me hang out with. Thank you for that bright smile. Thank you for that burst of laughter. Thank you for living as fully as you did. Tears and words and broken hearts will never do justice to how much of an impact you've had on my life, even if it was just watching you live yours. Thank you, I love you, and I hope I'll see you again.
Happi Yi
Dear Esther, I couldn't believe it when I heard it, but then again, who ever does? Looking back, you were what helped complete our group-- I can't imagine how everything and everyone would have turned out if you weren't there. Just the amount of impact you had on all of us. All the times, everything. Prom and your over-glittery dress that rubbed off everywhere. Rob calling me a fairy while we were dancing because it got in my hair... I still remember everyone telling me after you got out of the limo 'Damn-- She's really really hot!!'. Miki's birthday. Both of them actually. The Lexus, and then the Pinto. I still have my pencil case in your trunk. Everybody you dragged out whenever and wherever for the fun of it. Timbaland, Flo Rida, Usher, Basshunter, Neyo on your ipod, among others. Haha-- your ipod and cd speakers. Driving everywhere, dancing around, screaming, and everything. And later, your giant speakers thing that took up the other half of the backseat that I barely fit into in the first place. Froyo. Safeway. In n out. Valley Fair. Your birthday party. You were always up for anything-- the kind of carefree sense I wish I had, where everything would still be alright. Always going any direction you wanted. I can still hear your laugh as clear as ever. I thought I had a crush on you back during that summer, but it grew into the kind of unbreakable brother-sister bond. I'm still sorry about Lauren. I think I've gotten better at that whole picking thing but who knows. I'm sorry I can't come back until May. I'm sorry for not doing more to keep that bond intact. I'm sorry I was the most distant. I'll see you in Heaven when I get there. I love you and I hope you're living it up over there.
I miss you now and forever,
James Lee [Chubbles]
Dear Esther,
Hey Boston buddy! Thanks for supporting me through our transitions all the way from the bay to Boston. You made it clear from day one that you would always be right there in case I needed someone to talk to or be stupid with. I remember you taking the T at 10pm on the night of my birthday in September, before I got to become good friends with anybody in Boston yet, and you stayed with me for the entire night to make sure that I wouldn't have spent my 18th birthday alone in this strange town. I don't know what happened really afterward; I only got to see you twice (Halloween and when Nelson swung by) after that. We were two miles apart from each other yet I never made the effort to visit you more often. I don't know why, you are an amazing person always so full of energy and always always with something to say. Though I definitely never had the opportunity to know you and a deep, personal level I always loved the unique bubbly, beautiful person I saw on the surface. Thank you for that amazing time at Rock the Bells! Thank you for all those senior year late night adventures and after-school hang outs with our little circle of buddies. You made that group; you were the magnet that attracted everyone together. You still are and will always be. It's impossible to forget you. You made sure you carved a little spot in the memories of everyone you met, and you worked your way to the hearts of many others, including mine. Love you girl, I will never stop thinking about you and what you mean to me. Rest in peace.
Miss you so much,
Jennifer Ho
Hello Esther,
You may not remember me, but i remember you fondly. I am "mutti", miki maneru's mom...i remember your bubbly personality and was amazed at how close you and miki had become...i remember miki talking about you and how you had thought her a thing or two of this world. i remember you coming over to my home and eating chips and laughing as if tomorrow would never come...you made my miki happy...you were soo happy at miki's 18th birthday party at jollibee..it was as if you guys had no cares in this world and were happy to just be together and have good times. your life was cut short by reason's unknown to me but you are in the best hands you can be in now...we cry because we want you back, we cry because you can't go with us and us with you, we cry because a beautiful person has gone ahead of us...i cry because miki lost a good friend.....but i am happy that you are with someone who will love you very much and for that my tears are dried. i pray for you and i pray for mom and dad who loved you so much but now have to let you go...i pray that god gives them the strength to go on. i give you one last hug, go, my child, and suffer no more.....
Marlies Hackett Maneru
Esther Ting,
The ice skating rink was the last place I hung out with you. Deen, Mumu, John, and Steph were all here as well. You tried to teach me how to skate backwards here, I almost had it but not quite. We all ended up chasing each other on the ice instead and we all fell a lot.The card is to represent the card trick I showed you, you always enjoyed seeing them, and I was always happy showing them to you. This particular trick was special to me, because the story I told with it was a life lesson I had learned about learning to accept the unexpected. Through this unfortunate event, I have learned that not only should I try to understand something as hard as death, but to really value what I have in life; family, friends, my experiences, and just what I have all around me. It's strange how something like death can bring everyone closer together, and many have told me it's a shame that it takes the passing of a friend to really realize this, but we often forget what's important in life. This is my message to everyone to really take a second and appreciate who is in your life, because tomorrow you may not have that chance. Esther, we all miss you.
Sean Whitmore
Esther... We only spent a little time together in Japan but that was enough to realize what a special and great person you were... We always talked about getting to see each other again someday. We will, it will only not be as we had imagined. I'm heart broken. I don't know how else to express my feelings right now. I'll never forget you for you shared with me great moments in our trip. I am grateful to God for letting me know you. Rest in peace beautiful Esther
Rafael Andres Leano